Socializing in the Midst of a Pandemic
(Part 1 of the podcast on the left and Part 2 on the right. Transcript below.)
EMILY: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...to those of you who are listening, I hope you’re having a wonderful whatever-time-of-day-it-is. My name is Emily Sulkey and I’m going to be exploring the subject of how social lives change during a pandemic. I want you to think for a moment about the last person you spoke to, a friend or a family member...now I want you to think about your relationship with that person. Is it strong? Is it positive? Do you like or even love this person? Now I want you to reflect on the entirety of this past year, 2020. How was your relationship with this person at the beginning of the year? Has it changed since the pandemic occurred? Strengthened or become strained? Along with many, many others, I have experienced drastic life changes since March of this year, and I have personally faced some difficulties in relationships, but lately I feel like things have been improving ever so slightly and like there is a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. I’m going to be speaking with some of my close friends to get their input on this situation. EMILY: I’m joined here by my friend Neepa. How are you doing today Neepa, on this fine Monday afternoon? NEEPA: I’m pretty good, how are you? EMILY: I’m alright, not too bad. Yeah, so we’re just thinking about how socializing has changed in these past few months pretty drastically, pretty much all around the world. So how, how have you...I don’t know, how have you been affected by this, in particular, like hanging out with friends? I don’t know, how’s your social life kind of changed? NEEPA: Well, I feel like I can’t go out as much like I used to, like, before like when I wanted to hang out with my friends, we would go to like a restaurant or we would go--I don’t know, to like the bowling alley or something where we can hang out, but now we can’t do that. And I know like a lot of parents are, like, very iffy having friends over so like, there’s nowhere really for us to hang out or to go, you know, and it makes it really hard to hang out with your friends. EMILY: Yeah, that actually applies to me in particular. NEEPA: Yeah, both of us. EMILY: Yeah, no, it’s really--it’s a big downer. I also haven’t been able to really see people that much. I don’t know, I miss you. NEEPA: I miss you too. EMILY: So also, you work at Life Time (Fitness) and you worked there last year, too. NEEPA: Yeah. EMILY: So how has that changed? NEEPA: Well, I work with kids and obviously, like, there’s a lot of, like, keeping track of the kids, you know, having them...you know, they forget to wear their mask all the time and I know they don’t, you know, do it on purpose but like, it’s really hard to constantly having to tell them, you know, “Put your mask on!” every five minutes, and like you have to like, you know, keep track of things, like on like, every hour I have to clean and like, I have to log it and like every--I have to log all their temperatures, like during a certain time, so there’s more work to be done than there was during like a regular day at my job last year working with kids. So I feel like it’s more stressful in that way. EMILY: Yeah. NEEPA: If that makes sense. EMILY: No, that definitely sounds like some sort of weird dystopian reality that we’re living in. NEEPA: Yeah. EMILY: It’s so weird. NEEPA: It’s like an alternate timeline, you know? EMILY: Yeah, honestly, like I’m still not used to it and it’s been what, like, seven, eight months? I don’t even know. NEEPA: Yeah, eight months, almost. EMILY: It’s pretty horrible. So also, let’s see...you, you go to Wayne State, okay, but like you commuted last year, didn’t you? NEEPA: Yes, I did. EMILY: But the first year you were on campus. So like, that hasn’t really changed since last year. NEEPA: Mm-hm. EMILY: I don’t know, you’re pretty much just used to life at home anyway, right? NEEPA: Yeah, but like I feel like now like, I did have classes in-person last year, but now like, obviously, everything’s online. I haven’t made a single friend. A lot of my classes, we don’t really have discussion, so like I couldn’t even name anyone from my class now if I, if you ask me like I don’t know any person. And so, like, at least back then you know, I could, like, you know, meet someone new, but now like I haven’t met anyone new you know, like, it’s just school online and then that’s it. EMILY: Yeah, I definitely feel the same way. It’s like, yeah, it’s just so weird like, I was taking classes back in spring and summer too and I can’t even tell you, like, one person that was in any of my classes. NEEPA: Yeah. EMILY: No, it’s...it’s really bad. But I don’t know, I’m hoping things will start to improve soon. NEEPA: Mm-hm. EMILY: Maybe for next year, I don’t know, nobody knows. I kind of thought honestly like, I heard these things back in March and April and whatever, kind of near the beginning, you know, people were saying, like, “Oh, the virus can’t do well in the heat, you know, it’ll be fine in summer,” and then summer passed and nothing got better at all. NEEPA: I know, but it’s like, it’s hard to contain that sort of thing, you know, like I knew like it wasn’t going to be completely gone in the summer, but I knew that it was going to be better than it was going to be like now in the fall, you know? EMILY: Yeah. NEEPA: Because it’s flu season right now, everyone’s getting sick. EMILY: Exactly. NEEPA: And like, the flu and coronavirus have very similar symptoms. So like, you know, it’s hard to differentiate like, you know, which is which, I guess. EMILY: Yeah. No, it is really hard to tell. I saw this thing online, this meme, and it was like, “Can you even get regular sick anymore or is everything just coronavirus?” NEEPA: Yeah. EMILY: I don’t know, honestly, anyone’s like...like, there’s so many different symptoms. It’s really unpredictable. NEEPA: Mm-hm. EMILY: And then there’s, like, people that are asymptomatic. I don’t know. NEEPA: Yeah, that’s the other thing I’m scared about is like, if I’m asymptomatic, you know, like can I get someone else sick, because I don’t feel sick you know, like I could have it. It’s scary. EMILY: Yeah. NEEPA: Anyone could have it. EMILY: Honestly. Well, I hope I can see you soon in-person instead of just through a screen. NEEPA: Yeah. Yeah, that would be fun. EMILY: Thank you for, thank you so much for joining me today and discussing, you know, this interesting topic. NEEPA: No problem. EMILY: While I was speaking with Neepa, I started to think a lot about how human interaction differs face-to-face versus virtually. And I think that this came to mind because I have been friends with Neepa since we were in second grade, and since then, we’ve spent a lot of time together. These past few months, I haven’t been able to see her, so our friendship has been restricted to us “hanging out” over FaceTime. It’s definitely not the same and I miss her a lot, but we’ve shared some unique experiences throughout all of this, like for example back in May and June, we would call each other through this service called Netflix Party, which essentially allows you to FaceTime your friends while you watch Netflix together. Social media has opened up new avenues for connection, but has also pushed humanity to its most socially isolated point. We now rely so heavily on communicating through our devices that we have all but forgotten how to interact face-to-face, like in the olden days. Though I do like to FaceTime my friends occasionally, I would much rather prefer to see them in-person. Also, I find phone calls to be quite awkward and anxiety-inducing for some reason, and it seems many others my age feel the same. Another friend I’ve stayed connected to digitally is Eshani, who I spoke with about her experiences being a resident assistant at Michigan State. EMILY: Alright, I’m here with my friend Eshani. How are you doing on this fine day? ESHANI: I’m good, thank you. How are you? EMILY: I’m swell, thank you for asking. So, you go to Michigan State. ESHANI: Yes. EMILY: And you were on campus this past semester. How was your experience there? ESHANI: Um, like compared to last year? EMILY: Yeah. ESHANI: Um, very lonely. Like, usually in my dorm alone there’s 1200 people, but this year, like in total, there were 1200 people on the entire campus. EMILY: Oh my gosh. ESHANI: So, yeah, so there were not a whole lot of people, it was, usually we have, my dorm, it’s, you have suites, so like two rooms are connected with one bathroom, and then in each room there’s two roommates, so like four people sharing one suite, whereas this year they just did one person in each suite. So yeah, you couldn’t talk to your roommates, couldn’t talk to your suitemates, nothing like that. Um, and people were really scared of COVID, because for me--for MSU, it was only like the people who absolutely had nowhere else to be could stay, and if you got caught like not wearing a mask...like, having too many people in the room, like, you’d be kicked out and so like, they couldn’t afford to get kicked out. So no one was talking at all, no--no socializing, no one’s coming out of their rooms. And like also I was an RA, and we would even have like floor events like over Zoom, like game nights. And like some people would come to those, but not a whole lot. So it was very hard to make friends. So eventually I got tired of it, and it was like, like recently cases have been rising like crazy, like they were getting better for a time but then they were rising really bad. And so, I found out that all my classes next semester were online so I was like, this isn’t worth it anymore, and I resigned from being an RA, and I’m back home. EMILY: Oh, you resigned, yeah. ESHANI: I did, because my family’s at home, so at least like, I talk to my family. EMILY: Yeah. ESHANI: Whereas like in the dorms I don’t talk to anybody, you know what I’m saying? EMILY: Yeah, I think that’s a good decision for--for these times. ESHANI: Thank you. EMILY: Sad, but you just, you gotta do it. I don’t know. ESHANI: You do. But you know what, it’s been better at home because at least I have like three siblings and my parents and I like, talk to them every day. EMILY: Yeah, so that’s nice. ESHANI: Indeed, and my friends, I have more friends at home. Like, you’re pretty close, and then Amanda’s here. Yeah. EMILY: The squad out in Northville and Novi. ESHANI: Yes. EMILY: How’s it been at home? Well, I mean, you just said it’s, it’s like better...you get to see more people, but do you--do you go out anywhere, like do anything? ESHANI: Yeah, that’s the thing. Like, over the summer, I really didn’t, but I did more than I do now. You know what I’m saying? So like, like for example, me and my best friend Amanda, we were going to go get coffee the other day together, but then her parents were like, “The cases are so bad right now, like you can’t go anywhere.” So I couldn’t hang out with her. I hung out with you a little bit over the summer. EMILY: Yeah. ESHANI: Don’t know how it was happening with that now because cases are so bad. Um, so yeah, like with cases rising it’s worse. But even just seeing my family every day is more interactive than at the dorm, where I saw like, one--I like, saw people to go to dinner, so only a couple cafs, cafeterias, were open, and the closest one to me was two buildings away. And so every day I would go with like, a group of friends, and we would walk to the caf and come back but like, as it got colder, no, I wasn’t having it anymore. Um, but yeah, I do like being at home better. EMILY: That’s nice. Yeah, so you didn’t really see any parties or anything, right? Like, campus life kind of just was dead? ESHANI: Um, campus life itself like, because it--because like I said before, like it was people who couldn’t afford to get kicked out like that...no, there was nothing going on, like I even asked people from other dorms like, “Are people talking in your dorms?” and everyone was like, “No.” Um, but like, around campus, like the frats and stuff, they were still having parties around campus like, the cases were really bad at one point, like they did a whole quarantine for both MSU campus and like, the area surrounding it, because the cases were getting really bad with people partying. But like, personally, no I didn’t see any partying. EMILY: That’s good. ESHANI: Mm-hm. EMILY: Yeah, I’m not sure how it’s been at U of M. I mean, I’ve seen stuff...I saw this account on Instagram, and it’s like “@umich_covidiots” or something. It’s like, people take pictures of big gatherings from far away and then just post them like, exposing. ESHANI: COVID parties. EMILY: Yeah. Yeah, ‘cause there’s still parties happening like I see on the account, because I’m not there obviously, but I see like, sorority houses and stuff, you know, pretty--looking pretty lit. ESHANI: Mm-hm. EMILY: It’s sad. Disappointing. ESHANI: I know. EMILY: Yeah. Well, hopefully next year things will be better. ESHANI: Joe Biden! EMILY: Yeah, come on, Joseph! ESHANI: Come on, Joseph! EMILY: Come on. ESHANI: I gotta Google his middle name. I, so, Vivake said that his middle name started with an “R” and I said, “Randy,” or “Randall.” Let’s see… “What is Joe Biden full name?” VIVAKE: No, no, no, no, no. ESHANI: He’s telling me not to look it up, but I wanna know. EMILY: Forbidden information. ESHANI: Are you kidding me? It’s “Robinette.” Did you know that? That’s so terrible. Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. Aw, that’s terrible. Anybody know Barack Obama’s full name? EMILY: Barack...isn’t it “Hussein” or something? ESHANI: Oh, is it? EMILY: Yeah. ESHANI: Let me see. Oh, yeah. “Hussein” or “Hussein”? EMILY: I don’t know how to pronounce it. ESHANI: Oh, apparently he’s the second. EMILY: The second Obama. Obama Two. ESHANI: Obama Two. That’s what it says. EMILY: The sequel. ESHANI: The sequel, oh my God...the sequel did way better than the original obviously. EMILY: Oh, jeez. Oh, well, thank you for joining me on this lovely evening before Thanksgiving. ESHANI: Yes! So that’s it? EMILY: Oh, what--what are you doing tomorrow? Your family...got any fun plans? ESHANI: No, we did like a Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, ‘cause Kevin and Colleen were here, but they went to their mom’s house for Thanksgiving this year. So we’re just vibing tomorrow, probably like, Taco Bell or something. EMILY: Cool, sounds nice. ESHANI: What are you doing? EMILY: Uh, well, Brandon’s coming home. ESHANI: (gasp) Is he bringing the girlfriend? EMILY: No, she...actually, I don’t know what’s going on there. She might be like, staying out there to work, ‘cause she works at JoAnn Fabrics or something, and she like, can’t get off. ESHANI: Aw. EMILY: So, um, and then I guess Paulo is gonna come over and then I might go to his house later. ESHANI: Wait, are you guys like, having like, dinner together, like family dinner together? EMILY: I think so. I don’t really know how it’s gonna go exactly. I might just like, stop in and be like, “Hey, what’s up?” ESHANI: Is he having dinner at your place? EMILY: I don’t know yet. ESHANI: Oooh. EMILY: I’m probably just gonna like, munch at both you know, like, have a little...snackies. ESHANI: Remember when I sent you that video, and it was like, when you come back home from the holidays and at one point it was talking about like, how your mom sets out a bunch of bowls, and I told you that it reminded me of your mom? EMILY: Yeah. ESHANI: I miss that. I hope your mom sets out a ton of bowls for Paulo. EMILY: In honor of you. One day you’ll see those bowls again. ESHANI: Aw, I miss them. They had like, M&Ms and peanuts and pretzels and candy. EMILY: All the goods. ESHANI: Seriously. My mom doesn’t put out bowls. She puts out like, bowl--like, today she put out like, plates of cucumbers and cauliflower. EMILY: I mean, it’s healthy. That’s nice. ESHANI: It is. It’s just not the same. EMILY: Yeah. ESHANI: It’s not the same. EMILY: Well, thank you so much. EMILY: So, we got off on a few tangents there...but honestly, I was delighted to speak to Eshani. We haven’t talked in a while; our schedules have been really hectic and we’ve been so far apart. So this little interview I had with her was a sort of freeing reconnection, and it was nice to commiserate about the state of the world for a bit while also having that playful banter that many people have been missing for so long due to the lack of social interaction. I’d like to conclude this short podcast with a poem I found by Jennifer N. Evensen that is meant to offer comfort for coronavirus anxiety: If you're anxious that all have been asked to stay home, Take comfort in knowing you are not alone. Tonight at 8, wherever you are, Gaze up at the sky and pick out a star. A moment alone or with people you love, We all share the beautiful sky high above. Take 30 seconds, be still in your mind; Reflect on a happy, most memorable time. The littlest things can give hearts a lift; If we pause, take a moment, and cherish our gifts. Please take a breath, take a moment for yourself and your loved ones. Thank you for your time. |